Wednesday, January 28, 2009

From the Child of A Narcissist

From the child of a pathological narcissist:

Surviving Narcissus

In those quiet moments
When the world slipped away...
I believed.
Quiet passion, breath, lips to skin.
I believed in my creation
Which was rapidly changing before me
So that I could no longer believe in life.

His jokes were more cruel in those days.
His crowd-moving charisma had become
More like impatient, self-seeking energy.
The lovely understanding had been
Turned to hollow stares and blocked ears.
My sweet creation's face remained just
As beautiful and proud as the day we met.
I believed him to be ill.
The coroner spoke otherwise.
I begged for an autopsy.
As they wheeled his body to the examination room
One by one the doctors gasped,
"When did they find this body?"
No death certificate to acknowledge
The life that had left me.

The coroner said there was no way to

Tell what had killed my creation.
He believed
My creation had never seen life,
Made it past the conception of
My longing and imagination.

Now I live knowing he never did,
That my creation was not real.
Quietly, I believe in life.

© 2002-2010, Jogan. Reproduced with permission


IN_NEW_YORK said...

thats the most beautiful pieace ive heard for some time :) keep it up that made me smile and a smerk kinda bridged my face:) thanks man :) or woman :) even better :)lol

sue_smiles said...

Having been married to a Narcissist with custody of both his daughter I was deeply moved by your poem. My step daughters too lived in his shadow and yet had never been alive. Their LIFE and breath has been robbed.

Anonymous said...

Hi, it’s me.
Hard to recognize? No, looking for a glimpse of yourself in me? Is our eye color the same? Our smile? The way I wrinkle up my forehead? What is your expectations of me? Can I trust in you? Will you always be there for me? Hard to recognize the weight? My voice? Have you forgot my laugh? Are you looking past me or at me? How do you know you love me? What is love? Hard to recognize the feelings? Looking for a glimpse of yourself in me? Is it in the way I walk? The way my eyes dance when I tell a story of you? The way you look at me and smile? Is this love? When the world melts away because you are here with me? Hard to recognize? Close your eyes and picture me, can you remember the happiness? You are so strong and I am so small..will I always be small in your eyes? What would big be like? Hard to recognize

Anonymous said...

Oh I recognize you. You are still the same shell of a human being, unable to love or feel. You are still void of that unique conscienceness that makes us human and makes us live, the ability to empathize, cry, love, and care for others. You? You are still trying to make up for that which you lack. You? You are still a vampire deriving your energy from inflicting pain and devastation to others. You? Yopu are still robbing others of life inorder to feel alive and human. You? You are still imprisoned.